6 Powerful Ways to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children
We spend a lot of time thinking about what our children will become, but who they become matters even more. Teaching empathy, gratitude, mindfulness, and other emotional values early lays the foundation for self-aware, emotionally strong adults.
According to parenting experts like Sheena Hill and Dr. Robyn Silverman, building emotional intelligence starts with everyday, intentional actions.
6 Practical Ways to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children
1. Read Books Together
Reading aloud to children isn’t just beneficial for language development; it’s also a powerful tool for emotional learning. Stories provide relatable characters and situations that can spark meaningful conversations about feelings.
While reading, pause to ask your child how they think a character feels and why. Encourage them to describe the clues they noticed, such as facial expressions or situations that triggered emotions.
For younger children who might not yet have the vocabulary to express their thoughts, parents can help by offering their observations. This helps build emotional awareness and empathy.
2. Play Connective Games
Games that involve emotional expression and connection can make learning about feelings fun and engaging. One great example is a game where children act out different emotions, such as happiness, sadness, anger, fear, or disgust, using facial expressions and body language, while others guess the emotion.
These playful activities allow children to explore how emotions look and feel in a safe, low-stakes environment. The laughter and movement make the lessons more memorable, while also reinforcing empathy and nonverbal communication.
3. Practice Calming Techniques Before They’re Needed
It’s difficult for anyone, especially a child, to learn how to calm down in the middle of a meltdown. That’s why it’s important to teach calming strategies during moments of peace.
Breathing exercises, sensory tools like squeeze balls or calming jars, and visual aids like calming strategy posters can help children recognize and manage big feelings when they arise.
Practicing mindfulness in calm moments helps children understand their emotional states and how to self-regulate. Importantly, parents should model these strategies themselves. When children see their caregivers staying calm and using coping tools, they’re more likely to mirror those behaviors.
4. Model and Teach Gratitude
Gratitude builds emotional resilience, empathy, and a sense of connection to others. Teaching gratitude doesn’t require a special occasion; it can be integrated into daily life.
Activities like creating a “thankful tree” or sharing something each family member is grateful for at dinner help children recognize the positive moments in their day.
A simple “roses and thorns” activity, where each person shares a high and low of their day, can also provide space for both appreciation and empathy. Over time, this daily habit reinforces the value of noticing the good and acknowledging others’ kindness.
5. Use Role Play to Talk Through Conflict
When children have conflicts with siblings, friends, or even adults, role-playing can be an effective way to teach empathy and problem-solving.
Ask your child to imagine how the other person might have felt in the situation, or even physically switch roles and act out the scenario again.
This can help children gain perspective and understand the impact of their actions. After the role-play, offer them a chance to try again with a “do-over”, a low-pressure way to practice handling difficult situations more thoughtfully.
6. Talk About Feelings in Everyday Life
Emotional intelligence grows through everyday experiences. Whether you’re taking a walk, listening to music, or eating together, there are countless opportunities to reflect on emotions.
Encourage your child to describe what they’re feeling in their body, what they noticed during an activity, or what stood out to them emotionally.
These casual conversations help normalize emotional awareness and teach children that it’s okay to talk about their inner experiences. Over time, this strengthens self-awareness and encourages healthy expression.
