Want to Raise Confident Kids? Avoid These 3 Common Parenting Phrases

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In her upcoming book, The Words That Shape Us, educator and consultant Lily Howard Scott highlights how the language parents use can deeply impact a child’s self-esteem and internal dialogue, even from an early age. Contrary to the belief that children only absorb meaningful communication after age five, research shows that young kids internalize much more than they can express.

“The way we talk to young children becomes the way they talk to themselves,” Scott explains, urging parents to reconsider seemingly neutral remarks. Here are three types of phrases to avoid for fostering confidence and resilience in kids:

1. Equating a Child’s Character with Their Actions

Avoid labeling children with statements like “You’re irresponsible.” Instead, reframe the feedback: “That was an irresponsible decision.” This approach separates their actions from their identity, promoting the idea that mistakes are learning opportunities, not reflections of their core self.

2. Praising Them for Being Like You

While it’s natural to celebrate shared interests, comments such as “You’re a math person just like me” can unintentionally suggest that your love is tied to how much they resemble you. Instead, acknowledge their skills independently: “You’ve worked so hard on math—it’s amazing to see your progress!”

3. Celebrating Success Over Effort

Rather than focusing solely on achievements, like an A on a test, highlight the effort behind them. Saying, “I’m so proud of all the studying you did,” emphasizes that hard work and dedication are what matter most, fostering a growth mindset.

Read more of the story here: https://childreninfobank.com/safebank/avoid-using-these-3-kinds-of-phrases-if-you-want-to-raise-confident-kids-says-educator-and-author/

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