The Awakening: My Transformation Through the Teachings of Barrister Taiwo Akinlami on Rights-Based Parenting

There are moments in life that leave an indelible mark on the soul, moments that inspire transformation, not just in thought, but in action. One such moment for me came through the powerful and enlightening teachings of Barrister Taiwo Akinlami. His deep, passionate advocacy for the rights and dignity of the child did more than educate me—it sparked a profound awakening within me as a parent and as a human being.

Among the many insights I have gained under his tutelage, one stands out distinctly: the philosophy and practice of Rights-Based Parenting. It is a concept that is both simple and revolutionary, anchored in the undeniable truth that every child is a rights-holder from birth. This teaching reshaped my understanding of parenting from a role of control and provision to one of stewardship and respect.

One of the core truths I encountered through Rights-Based Parenting is this: our children never begged to be born. This statement pierced through layers of cultural assumptions and brought a wave of clarity. Parenthood is not a favour we do for children; it is a sacred responsibility. Children are not objects of our charity or control, they are individuals with inherent rights that must be acknowledged, protected, and upheld.

This insight led me to reflect deeply on how I parent. I realized that many of the things I once considered favours for example, providing food, clothing, education, shelter, and emotional support—are not privileges I bestow at will. These are basic rights that my children are entitled to, simply because they are human and they are mine. The more I understood this, the more I saw the urgent need to eliminate subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle) forms of emotional manipulation or guilt-tripping that many parents, myself included, may unknowingly engage in.

For example, I became aware of the tendency to emotionally make our children feel indebted for receiving what they are naturally entitled to. Statements like “After all I’ve done for you…” or “You should be grateful I pay your school fees…” suddenly felt deeply wrong. Such attitudes turn a child’s rights into bargaining chips, and that is both unfair and damaging.

Barrister Akinlami’s teaching helped me see that I must not harass my children before doing what I am duty-bound to do. It is not just about what we do for our children; it’s about how we do it—whether we do it in love, with dignity, and without condition. My duty as a parent is to create a home where my children feel safe, respected, and heard—a home where their rights are not negotiated but honored.

Even more powerfully, I learned that children should not have to labour or meet performance conditions before they can access their rights. A child should not have to earn their right to be fed, protected, loved, or listened to. These rights are fundamental and should be accessible to them seamlessly. When we demand effort in exchange for rights, we inadvertently teach children that love and care are conditional—and that is a dangerous lesson.

The journey of unlearning and relearning has not been easy, but it has been deeply rewarding. I now see parenting not as an exercise of power, but as a call to justice. I see my children not as extensions of myself, but as individuals who deserve fairness, empathy, and respect.

This transformation has deeply influenced my work as the Founder of The Parent Motivator. I am more determined than ever to empower other parents with this truth, that parenting is not about control, but about conscious responsibility. That our job is not to raise grateful children who owe us, but whole children who know they are valued.

I am forever grateful to Barrister Taiwo Akinlami and The Legacy Now Leadership Project for planting this powerful seed in me. His voice has become a guiding light, and his message has become a personal mission. As we build stronger families and more just societies, I believe this is where it begins, with parents who understand and uphold the rights of the child.

Let us raise children who are not afraid to speak, to dream, to feel, and to live fully—because they know, from the foundation of their homes, that they matter.