Facilitating the Science of School Safety in the Midst of Family Chaos: Priceless Lessons

On Saturday, August 30, 2025, I facilitated our Science of School Safety course. It was a landmark program attended by major educational associations, APEN, NAPPS, ACSI, and others. I poured out nearly three decades of work, research, and lived experience, presenting what I now call the science of school safety.

The feedback was powerful. The testimonies were moving. But behind the scenes, the day was anything but smooth.

The day before, my wife had to travel. That meant I would be alone with our three-year-old son on the very day I had two major programs to deliver. Apart from the fact that one of them was a paid program, it was also an opportunity to present the Legacy Now Leadership Project and get people to sign up. The stakes were very high.

The caliber of participants made it even more intense, school leaders from some of the most highly placed institutions within those associations. It was a closed-door strategic session where we discussed the science of school safety. This was not a program you take lightly. These are people who shape education in Nigeria, and arguably in Africa, Nigeria being the most populous Black nation on earth.

Normally, my wife and I share the load: one facilitates, the other cares for him. This time, he was fully with me. And he wanted my attention. Not because he was wrong. Not because he was misbehaving. Simply because he was a child, in his element, needing his father.

That day, for almost two and a half hours, I was stretched beyond words. I excused myself more than ten times. Sometimes I left the session abruptly for three to five minutes. It was chaotic. It was stressful. And it was the perfect test of my convictions as a father.

Tested by Chaos

Everything in me was tempted to break my own rules: to raise my voice, to spank, to threaten. After all, participants might expect me, an African father, to “put him in his place.” But deep inside, I knew I could not betray what I stand for, not even under pressure.

I have chosen to raise my son differently. I don’t spank. I don’t yell. I don’t threaten. I talk. I reason. I explain. I respect his personhood. From the womb until now, I have trained him through words, through choices, through life situations.

So even in the heat of Saturday’s chaos, I kept talking. I kept calming. I kept modeling.

Why I Chose My Son First

At one point, I asked myself: should I cancel the session? Should I refund everyone’s money? I decided, even if I had to, it would be better than damaging my son’s trust. Heaven will not fall. Money can be refunded. Programs can be rescheduled. But a child’s sense of security, once broken, may never fully heal.

I chose my son before my image. I chose consistency before convenience. I chose love before performance.

Lessons from Chaos

That day validated my deepest convictions about fatherhood. Parenting does not pause for professional duty. Discipline is not what you do to a child in frustration; it is what you model with a child in love.

And the truth is this: if talk therapy can heal adults already broken by abuse, why can’t talk shape a child still forming? If respect can rebuild dignity in the wounded, why can’t respect grow dignity in the young?

Final Word

In the end, the training was a success. The participants left enriched. My son remained secure. And I walked away with my values intact.

Chaos came, but it did not crush me. It only proved me.

That is the lesson I share with you this week as a #50PlusDad: things happen, but heaven will not fall. Family is first. And the legacy we leave our children will outlive every program, every paycheck, every performance.

Do have an INSPIRED week ahead with the family.