How to help Young Children Grasp and Understand Emotions

Source:https://www.apa.org/

Emotion regulation is a complex skill that involves attention, planning, cognitive and language development, according to Pamela Cole, a psychologist at Penn State. Children develop these skills at different rates, influenced by genetics, temperament, their environment, and factors like fatigue or hunger. Parents, teachers, and caregivers are crucial in guiding children to manage their emotions effectively.

Here are science-tested strategies parents and caretakers can use to teach kids these important skills:

Start Early: Infants who react quickly and are difficult to soothe may struggle with emotion regulation as they grow older, according to psychologist John Lochman. However, all children can benefit from learning about feelings. Caregivers can begin teaching emotional awareness early by discussing the feelings of characters in books and movies.

Connect: Research indicates that children with secure, trusting relationships with their parents or caregivers tend to have better emotion regulation as toddlers. Consistency and comfort are key to fostering a secure attachment with your child.

Talk and Teach: Teach children to recognize and name their emotions, but avoid discussing feelings while they are upset. Instead, find calm moments to talk about emotions and management strategies. Multiple conversations can help lay the groundwork for understanding.

Model Good Behaviour: The saying “Do as I say, not as I do” is misguided, according to psychologist Alan Kazdin from Yale University. Research shows that children learn by observing their parents’ actions rather than just listening to their words.

Stay Calm: Modeling good behavior can be challenging, especially during a tantrum. If you feel yourself getting frustrated, take a moment to breathe and calm down before responding. Alan Kazdin suggests stepping into another room briefly to avoid impulsive reactions while still addressing the situation later.

Plan Options: When your child is calm, discuss how they can handle difficult situations, such as wanting to play with a classmate’s toy. Explore options like telling the teacher, asking to take turns, or finding another toy. This approach helps your child develop problem-solving skills.

Act it Out: After discussing options, practice through role play, suggests Kazdin. Take turns acting as your child and their classmate. This rehearsal helps children apply their new skills in real-life situations.

Punish Less, Praise More: While it’s tempting to impose consequences for bad behavior, strict punishment can worsen the situation, leading to increased aggression in children struggling with emotion regulation, according to Lochman. Research suggests caregivers should aim for four to five positive interactions for every negative reprimand. Focus on positive attention, praise, and rewards for good behavior. Kazdin advises emphasizing “positive opposites”—for example, instead of punishing a child for screaming at the playground, praise them when they leave calmly.

Be a team: For kids who are struggling to learn emotion regulation, consistency is key. “It’s really important for parents, grandparents, teachers, and other caregivers to work together to address a child’s self-regulation problems,” Lochman said. “Sit down to chat and plan a coordinated approach to handling the child’s behaviors.”

Check your expectations: Don’t expect your child to behave perfectly, especially if they’re genuinely scared or stressed, Cole said. When they’re afraid or anxious (like getting vaccinated or starting school for the first time) they might not be able to access the self-regulation skills they use in more low-stakes situations. “In a highly stressful situation, children need more adult support,” she said.

Take the long view: Most children learn to manage big feelings by the time they’re in elementary school. But that doesn’t mean their emotional development is finished. Executive functions—skills like planning, organizing, problem solving, and controlling impulses—continue to develop into young adulthood. When you feel frustrated by your child’s behavior, remember that emotion regulation takes time.

Read More: https://childreninfobank.com/safebank/how-to-help-young-children-grasp-and-understand-emotions/

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