How to Stop a Toddler from Biting

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Biting is a common behavior in babies and toddlers as they explore their environment, often using their mouths to learn. While it can be concerning for parents, experts note that this behavior is typically not malicious. Toddlers may bite out of anger, curiosity, frustration, or as a means of communication due to their limited language skills. Understanding the causes can help parents address the issue and learn effective strategies to stop their toddler from biting.

Causes of Toddler Biting

Biting helps them learn about the world: Dr. Judith Garrard explains that young children often explore their surroundings orally, using their mouths as a way to learn and find comfort. Biting is typically a form of sensory exploration rather than a negative behavior.

It helps toddlers communicate: Dr. Stahmer notes that toddlers struggle to express their feelings verbally, which can lead them to bite as a way to communicate excitement, frustration, anxiety, or boredom.

They’re playing defense: Sometimes, your little one will have a legitimate gripe. Perhaps another child grabbed their bottle, tripped them, or pulled their hair. Not biting someone when you feel like it requires real self-control, and toddlers don’t have that yet.

They’re experimenting with cause and effect: Many toys for toddlers are designed to make noise because children at this age are learning how their actions provoke reactions. When a toddler bites a friend, they are experimenting to see the impact of their behavior on the world around them.

They’re overwhelmed: Overstimulation can lead to biting in toddlers, especially when they are tired or surrounded by chaos. A calm, well-rested child is less likely to bite, so it’s helpful to follow high-energy activities with quiet play or nap time.

Solutions to Stop Toddler Biting

Respond right away: Once you have communicated the message, it’s crucial to redirect your child’s attention. This means guiding them towards a more appropriate behavior or activity. For example, if they were biting out of curiosity or frustration, you might redirect them to a soft toy they can squeeze or a safe object they can explore with their mouth. This not only distracts them from the urge to bite but also gives them an alternative way to express themselves.

Encourage a biter to use words: Dr. Stahmer emphasizes that it’s important to teach children alternatives to biting when they’re angry or upset. They can express their feelings by saying phrases like “I don’t want to” or asking for help to communicate effectively.

Validate their feelings: Ensure your child that you understand their frustrations by saying things like, “I know it feels so bad when someone takes your toy!” Also give them a firm hug, which often helps children settle down.

Look for triggers: If you notice that your child bares their teeth when a playmate touches their favorite toy, simply buying a duplicate can stop them in their tracks. Likewise, if your child tends to resort to biting when they’re tired or overstimulated, remove them from situations when they have reached their limit.

Don’t let them profit from attacks: Gretchen Kinnell advises that if a child bites to obtain a toy, they should not be allowed to keep it. If they are rewarded for aggressive behavior, they are likely to continue that behavior.

Pay more attention to the victim than to the culprit: By modeling compassion and praising good behavior, you teach your child that they can’t gain attention through negative actions. Positive reinforcement, such as acknowledging when they share or take turns, encourages them to avoid biting or acting out.

Closely monitor your biter:  Sure, you’d rather spend playgroup socializing with others than serving as kiddie cop. But you need to stay one step ahead of your child, anticipating and blocking their next bite. You should also remove toys that trigger conflicts.

Offer your child a biting substitute, such as a washcloth: With gentle reminders, a child who bites will chew on their washcloth rather than their playmate or parent when they’re feeling testy or frustrated.

Give them extra attention in difficult times: Chronic biting in children may signal difficulties with adjustments, such as weaning, moving, or a new sibling’s arrival. Dr. Stahmer suggests that providing extra attention from parents can help address this behavior and reduce biting.

Be a good role model: To guide your toddler’s interactions, it’s important to be a good role model. Avoid play biting, like nibbling on their fingers, as it sends mixed messages and may encourage them to mimic that behavior with other children.

When to Talk to Your Child’s Doctor

Biting is a common reaction to fear or frustration in toddlers but can become habitual. If a child continues to bite into preschool age or despite interventions, it’s crucial to consult a pediatrician. They can provide additional strategies, evaluate potential underlying issues, and identify factors such as unmet oral sensory needs, particularly in children with autism spectrum disorder.

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