Sweet Souls, Tough Exteriors, Overcoming This Costly Barrier and Teaching Our Children Better

I recently attended an international professional gathering with representatives from over 100 countries. The room was filled with both senior and emerging professionals. As always, I was clad in my native African attire, which allowed me to stand out while also serving as a bridge across cultural and professional differences. I engaged with people effortlessly, built strategic connections, and fostered meaningful relationships.

On the final day, a lady I had never met before approached me and said, “You have a very friendly personality.” I smiled and replied, “Thank you, madam.”

But you see, I have not always been like this.

Due to my childhood experiences of abuse, I once struggled with social interactions. I was not just hesitant to relate with people, I was gripped by the fear of rejection. Lacking basic interpersonal and people skills, I often came across as aloof or unapproachable. Many assumed I was a snob, unaware that I was waging internal battles. It took years of intentional effort, personal development, and commitment to change for me to overcome this, and even now, it remains a continuous journey.

Through my experiences, I have met many brilliant, talented individuals who struggle with social skills. While their unfriendly demeanor can create barriers, I have learned to look beyond appearances, especially when there is shared purpose or value in the relationship. More often than not, I discover a sweetness buried beneath the rubble of childhood trauma or painful life experiences. But the question remains: how many people are willing to push past that initial barrier to truly see the person within?

The reality is that poor social skills come at a high cost, both personally and professionally. Worse still, many who suffer from this are unaware of its impact, often going a lifetime without realizing the opportunities lost due to an unintentional wall they have built.

This is why teaching our children social and emotional intelligence is not just beneficial, it is essential. And as we guide them, we must also refine our own skills, ensuring that we do not let past wounds dictate how we engage with the world.

Because at the end of the day, connection is one of life’s greatest assets.

Do have an INSPIRED week ahead with the family.