Want to Raise Happy and Successful Kids? Teach Them how to get Angry, Child Psychologist Says
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Instead of dreading their child’s tantrums, parents should view these moments as opportunities for teaching emotional management. Clinical psychologist Jazmine McCoy emphasizes that the goal is not to eliminate tantrums but to help children handle their anger in a healthy way. Learning to manage intense emotions like anger and sadness enhances resilience, attention, and cognitive development, which are crucial for a child’s success and well-being. How parents discuss and respond to anger is vital for guiding children in understanding and managing their emotions effectively.
Here are Four Steps to Help Children Handle Their Anger in a Healthy Way:
Draw clear boundaries: Children need to feel heard and understood by their parents, particularly during intense emotional moments. It’s crucial for parents to reassure their children that negative emotions are normal and that their love remains unconditional, even during outbursts. However, accepting a child’s feelings does not mean accepting harmful behaviors like yelling or hitting. Parents should set clear boundaries, such as asking the child to calm down before continuing the discussion.
Draw clear boundaries: Acknowledging and discussing a child’s anger helps them articulate their intense emotions and manage them without acting out. By asking about the source of their anger and exploring solutions together, parents can guide children to communicate their needs verbally rather than through aggression. Using children’s books and media to discuss feelings can also be an effective way to start conversations about emotions and problem-solving.
Try to calm things down: Teaching children to take deep breaths to manage anger is effective, especially when parents model the technique. McCoy suggests parents demonstrate deep breathing during stressful moments, showing how it helps calm down. This approach is more effective than forcing children to breathe deeply, as it encourages them to follow the example set by their parents.
Don’t respond to anger with more anger: When dealing with a child’s outburst, it’s important to remember that toddlers can’t yet regulate their intense emotions. Yelling at them can harm their self-esteem and emotional growth. Instead, parents should model appropriate anger management by calmly expressing their own frustrations and demonstrating ways to handle them. This approach helps teach children how to manage their emotions effectively and shows them a positive way to cope with feelings.
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