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Children often face overwhelming situations, like anxiety from tests or bullying. Dr. Francyne Zeltser, a child psychologist, emphasizes that kids absorb a lot from their environment, even when it seems they’re not paying attention. To support them, it’s important to check in and offer encouragement. Experts suggest using specific phrases to help uplift kids when they’re struggling.
“Your Feelings Are Valid”: Before addressing a child’s feelings, it’s important to acknowledge and validate their emotions, according to Dr. Jaclyn Shlisky, a child psychologist. Instead of dismissing their feelings with phrases like “that’s OK,” parents should engage with their child’s negativity to help them feel understood. Validation is crucial for emotional regulation, self-identity, and relationship building, while invalidation can worsen negative emotions. For example, if a child is sad about missing a birthday party, a parent could respond with, “I’m sad about that, too,” and then suggest a positive action, like planning a craft to send to the friend.
“There Is a Silver Lining”: Dr. Shlisky suggests a three-step approach to support children:
- Validate their feelings to help them feel understood.
- Offer positive affirmations to boost their mood.
- Suggest a fun activity to create excitement.
Additionally, she emphasizes finding a “silver lining” in difficult situations, reminding parents to introduce daily activities for kids to look forward to. Simple plans like a family walk, movie night, or a board game can significantly improve a child’s day.
“Try Again”: Dr. Shlisky suggests supporting children struggling with assignments by using encouraging phrases like, “You haven’t practiced enough yet, but you’ll improve with practice.” Emphasizing the word “yet” and sharing personal examples of overcoming challenges can be helpful. It’s also important to recognize their efforts, regardless of the outcome, and celebrate their successes, even small ones. Parents should avoid taking over tasks, as this can reduce children’s persistence. Instead, rewarding small achievements, such as with treats for correct answers, can motivate them. However, rewards should be used strategically—mainly for non-preferred tasks—and should gradually decrease as children gain skills and independence.
“You Can Be Brave”: To encourage bravery in children, Dr. Shlisky suggests that parents model brave behavior. Letting kids see you step outside your comfort zone—like learning to ride a bike or trying new activities—can inspire them to do the same. Engaging in new experiences together as a family provides support and reassurance. For instance, practicing bike riding regularly can help alleviate fears. Participating in fun activities, like a dance party, where you let loose, can also help kids feel less self-conscious. Ultimately, when parents demonstrate strength and courage in challenging moments, it fosters a sense of togetherness and encourages children to develop their own bravery.
“Find Your Calm”: Children often experience frustration as they learn to be independent, and it’s crucial for them to develop productive ways to cope with it. Parents can help by modeling this behavior and connecting with their child. Acknowledging their feelings—such as saying, “I can see you’re feeling upset”—can help children articulate their emotions and understand what they’re experiencing. Dr. Zeltser recommends brainstorming calming strategies for kids when they feel frustrated, such as sitting in a favorite spot, listening to a favorite song, or practicing deep breathing. These techniques can help children regulate their emotions, and over time, they can develop the habit of using their chosen calming methods.
Read More: https://childreninfobank.com/safebank/5-encouraging-things-to-say-to-a-child-who-is-overwhelmed/
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