Between Compliance and Compassion: An HR Leader’s Honest Take on Pumping at Work
Temitope Okeseeyin
When I came across the story of a new mom being told by HR that drying her breast pump parts on her desk was “unprofessional,” it struck a chord. Not just because I’m an HR professional, but because I’m also a new mother navigating this exact season in real time.
It’s a tender and transitional time, balancing work with the physical, emotional, and mental shifts that come with postpartum and early motherhood. And while the headline made it easy to jump to outrage, I found myself sitting in the grey, understanding both the woman’s exhaustion and HR’s possible concerns.
Let’s start here: pumping is not a luxury. It’s a necessity. It’s not easy, it’s not glamorous, and for many of us, it leaves us drained, physically and emotionally. Personally, I know how it feels to finish a pumping session and still be expected to jump straight into meetings or work mode. It’s a silent labor of love we carry between tasks and titles.
That’s why it’s commendable that this woman had created a routine that allowed her to pump, stay at her desk, keep working, and simply air-dry her equipment discreetly in a shared, non-customer-facing office. It was a practical, time-efficient solution.
But I also recognize that the situation may not have been as black and white as the headlines suggest. It’s entirely possible that another employee, even if well-meaning, expressed discomfort but didn’t feel confident addressing it directly, and HR, in an effort to keep peace, stepped in. Or perhaps the HR Director was thinking about unannounced visits from clients or investors, especially in industries where image and perception matter deeply.
I understand that. I understand the weight HR carries, the quiet considerations we make to prevent what others never even see. Sometimes, it’s not about what’s “right or wrong,” but what’s “safe” or “strategic.”
But even with all those possibilities, and I say this gently, I believe the resolution in this case missed the mark.
Redirecting the new mom to a pumping room that adds nearly 40 more minutes to her process may solve the aesthetics issue, but it also introduces a new layer of stress. What was once a 20-minute window that allowed her to balance care and productivity has now become an hour-long disruption. That is not just inefficient for the company, it’s unsustainable for the employee.
And it reflects a broader challenge: how we define professionalism.
Professionalism is not the absence of discomfort; it’s the presence of respect. It’s creating spaces that adapt to real life, not just ideal optics. It’s recognizing that being a parent and being productive are not mutually exclusive, but only when systems are supportive.
This isn’t just about one bottle rack on one desk. It’s about the message we send to working moms: You’re welcome here… as long as you don’t remind us that you’re also a mother. Such a sad reality.
Just a few weeks ago, I had to pump moments before delivering a major speaking engagement. I was in full glam, jacket on, mic ready and yet there I was, quietly pumping in a corner and praying my son wouldn’t wake up early or cry in the background. I remember feeling powerful and vulnerable at once, showing up in my full professional capacity while still caring for the tiny human who needed me most. That moment crystallized something for me: this is the new face of leadership. And it shouldn’t have to be hidden.
As HR leaders, we must hold both, our responsibility to culture and our commitment to compassion. Yes, consider optics. Yes, manage perceptions. But also pause to ask: Is our response making life harder for the very people we say we support?
To every woman who is juggling milk schedules and meeting invites, nap times and deadlines, I see you Sis. I am you. And to my fellow HR colleagues, let’s keep doing the hard work of balancing policy with people, perception with empathy. We’re not just shaping workplaces, we’re shaping what’s possible for working women everywhere.
About the Contributor
Temitope Okeseeyin is a Top 1% Global Talent Specialist, HR Tech Expert, and Career Coach with a focus on the Future of Work and the Gig Economy.
She is also a new mom, navigating the delicate balance of leadership and motherhood bringing both professional insight and personal experience to conversations around workplace equity and the evolving world of work.
