Dear Son,
There are two men who lost their birthright to their behaviour. Interestingly, both lost it to appetite, one to food, the other to the appetite of immorality. The first was ancient Esau. The second is a man now widely known as former Prince Andrew.
There is something significant about Andrew: public reporting has tied the loss of his public standing and royal roles to reputational damage connected to his association with a man called Epstein. This man has stained many people, men and women alike or, should we say, many have stained themselves by their association with him. Today, I call him “EPSTAIN.” Son, that is a story for another day.
But I must tell you: when the Book we read at bedtime says:
- “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’” (1 Corinthians 15:33, NIV)
- “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” (Proverbs 13:20, NIV)
…I think this is a real-time example.
This is fully loaded, son. It means the wise walk with the wise and fools walk with fools, and the end of foolishness is destruction. It means foolishness is deadly. Deadly, son.
But how did we get here again? Oh, I remember.
I was talking about Andrew: his association with “EPSTAIN.”
Nothing Is Guaranteed Except Through Character
The former Prince’s character, which includes, but is not limited to, his association with Epstein has been treated in public life as a defining credential. And it cost him his place in the palace, in a kingdom handed to him by God through birth.
Does that mean, son, that nothing is guaranteed in this life except through character and that character is secured through discipline?
Could that be the reason why families, organisations, and corporations are not sustained beyond one generation because the one to whom the kingdom is handed does not have the character, attitude, and fortitude required by that kingdom?
He is from the kingdom of influence, political domination, wealth, and social standing, but he is not of the kingdom, because the character that sustains the kingdom is not in him or in her.
Esau, Appetite, and Replacement
Let’s go back in time, my son.
Esau was entitled to his father’s blessing, the main blessing, not the leftover he eventually got. Yet the disposition of his character to appetite gave legitimacy to his brother to replace him. Wow.
Now, I know you may be wondering, son, thatthe Book we read at bedtime already said the older shall serve the younger. (Genesis 25:23, NIV)
If you thought that, you would be brilliant. But son, does the prophecy explain how it would happen? And if selling his birthright for the price of his stomach was not relevant for our example, why are we told? As we say when we study the Book: God is not a waster.
And yes, Esau traded his birthright for food. (Genesis 25:29–34, NIV)
What I want you to take from Esau’s story is that character includes the ability to delay gratification: to discipline your appetite and delay your snacks until after your main meal, even when snacks are tempting, “delicious and yummy,” as you always say.
To know who you are: that you are a person, and being young does not mean being weak in character.
Guys like Daniel, who disciplined their appetite, should be your kind of guy, son:
- “But Daniel resolved not to defile himself…” (Daniel 1:8, NIV)
The Marshmallow Experiment
And there is this marshmallow experiment I should mention to you.
Researchers offered children a choice: one treat now, or two treats later if they could wait while the adult stepped out. Some ate immediately. Some waited, and used simple strategies: looking away, distracting themselves, sitting still, trying not to think about it.
Lessons for you, Tieri:
- Character is shown in the small moments, especially when nobody is watching.
- Appetite is a servant, not a master. If you do not train it, it will train you.
- Delayed gratification is part of destiny management: the ability to say “not now” protects your “later.”
Final Charge: Esau and Andrew
It is already a long conversation, but let’s circle back to Andrew and conclude with this:
Nothing guarantees influence, wealth, social status, or political power in this world, yesterday, today, or tomorrow, but character; discipline; attitude; fortitude.
And the strength behind all of these is to know who you are, your personhood, which speaks to your self-worth, your sense of judgment, your power of choice, and your sense of leadership.
These are the things I must keep reminding you of, who you are, so that you may live up to it. If I don’t do that, I set you up in life.
A man or woman’s destiny is as good as his or her character. Take it from me. Please note that I said character, not perfection. If you don’t mind, let’s keep the difference for another day.
Now, son, if you don’t mind, let’s not spend time today blaming the parents of the Esau and Andrews for their costly character flaws. Parents have their role, but once we attain the age of responsibility, we simply take responsibility, because the world will not punish our parents for our misbehaviour or crimes.
Do have an INSPIRED week, son.
Yours affectionately,
Daddy
