Celebrating Oluwafunmilayo Akinlami-Beginning the Charity From Home This International Women’s Day

As we mark the season of International Women’s Day, I want, in my #50PlusDad reflections today, to begin the charity from home.

My desire is to celebrate women, those near and those far, who play defining roles in the lives of children. I do so from a conviction that has grown deeper in me over the years: womanhood is first motherhood. Motherhood may not be the totality of womanhood, but at its finest, womanhood carries within it the instinct and capacity of motherhood. And motherhood, rightly understood, goes far beyond biology.

There is something profound in the nature of the woman to nurture, to preserve, to protect, to form, and to guide. There is an uncommon capacity in women to carry life, shape life, sustain life, and direct life toward purpose and maturity. This is not a sentimental claim. It is a truth I have seen repeatedly over nearly three decades of work with children, families, institutions, and communities.

In my journey through UNICEF, the British Council, the United Nations Students Village, schools, and in my work as a Court Appointed Special Advocate and Guardian ad Litem, I have worked with many women. In fact, I have worked with more women than men in spaces of child advocacy, nurture, formation, and development. Again and again, I have seen in women that remarkable strength to hold, shape, preserve, and advance life.

It is as though nature itself has bestowed on women a peculiar grace and responsibility for nurture. Women nurture life. They nurture possibility. They nurture people. They nurture vision. They nurture institutions. They nurture families. They nurture futures.

Perhaps this is why, even beyond the home, women often bring to every space they enter the power to cultivate growth and call forth greatness. I have seen women who are not biological mothers embody motherhood more powerfully than many who are. I remember, for instance, a woman once recognized as an outstanding Court Appointed Special Advocate and Guardian ad Litem. She had no biological children of her own, yet she gave herself tirelessly to the preservation and protection of vulnerable children. That, to me, was motherhood in action.

That is why I insist that motherhood is beyond biology. It is a disposition. It is a calling. It is an instinctive orientation toward nurture. It is the power to receive life in whatever form it appears, and then guide that life toward wholeness, dignity, and independence.

Today, therefore, I choose to celebrate one woman especially. I know many women and have been blessed by many women, but there is one with whom I walk most closely, one whose life has become to me a living testimony of all I have described.

I celebrate Oluwafunmilayo Akinlami—whom I fondly call Love—the wife of my youth.

I have seen her as a nurturer of my dreams, my visions, and the things I have been called to do. I have seen her as a pillar of support. I have seen in her a quiet but unwavering strength. She has stood with me, supported me, and walked beside me with grace and constancy.

In the last four years especially, I have watched the spirit of motherhood in her emerge with even greater force and beauty. I have seen her love without losing firmness. I have seen her show tenderness without surrendering strength. I have seen her remain composed in emotional moments and remain clear-headed in demanding times. She has shown me that true womanhood is not weakness, and true motherhood is not mere softness. It is strength under control. It is love with wisdom. It is nurture with structure. It is compassion with clarity.

In raising our son together, I have seen her embody motherhood in ways that are deep, balanced, and enduring. Yet even before our son came, she had already been mother to many. She had already demonstrated that motherhood is not conferred by childbirth alone. She had long been nurturing children, guiding lives, shaping minds, and strengthening people.

She is, for me, an eloquent testimony that motherhood is beyond biology, and that womanhood, in one of its highest expressions, is motherhood. She embodies that inner capacity to bring life forth, to preserve it, to strengthen it, and to nurture it toward maturity and independence.

And this reality does not stop at home. It spills into her corporate responsibilities, into the organizations where she has served, and into the lives of the people with whom she works. She does not merely build organizations; she nurtures people within them. She does not merely support startups; she helps bring them to life. She does not merely occupy roles; she enriches them with the force of her womanhood and the depth of her motherhood.

This is why I celebrate her today. And through her, I celebrate every woman out there who is quietly, faithfully, and powerfully playing this role of nurture. I celebrate the women who preserve children for adulthood. I celebrate the women who give direction to life. I celebrate the women who stand in the gap, who carry burdens, who shape souls, and who help secure the future by what they pour into children today.

I often say that life begins and ends in childhood. I also often say that children are either beneficiaries or casualties of our example. If this is true, then women who nurture children well are among the greatest builders of humanity. They are guardians of the future. They are custodians of possibility. They are silent architects of civilization.

So today, I celebrate Oluwafunmilayo Akinlami, my Love, the wife of my youth, as one who embodies these virtues with grace, strength, and beauty.

And through this celebration that begins at home, I honour women everywhere who mother lives, shape destinies, preserve childhood, and nurture greatness.

Have an inspired International Women’s Day, my love.