The Power of “WE” – Raising Tieri in a Culture of Shared Discipline

One of the most powerful ideologies shaping our family life and deeply influencing our 3-year-old son, Tieri, is the idea of “WE.” In our home, discipline is not imposed on the child as a separate being; it is a shared way of life, a family culture, and a collective example. We don’t just teach values; we live them together.

Tieri often asks two key questions when faced with decisions or corrections:
“We do that?” or “We don’t do that?”

These aren’t just innocent questions. They reflect the consistent language and modeling he has been exposed to. We don’t instruct him with “You must do this” or “You must not do that.” Instead, we say, “This is what we do,” or “We don’t do that.” Our guidance is rooted in shared identity and collective responsibility.

Here’s how it works in real life:

We take only what we can eat, we don’t waste food. So Tieri says,
“That’s too much, I won’t finish it.”

We use kind words, words that build, not break. So he says,
“That’s a kind word,” or points out, “That’s not nice.”

We are grateful people, so when someone asks, “How are you?”
he responds, “Fine, thank you.”

We bless, we don’t curse, so he knows negative or harmful words
have no place in our vocabulary.

These aren’t just lessons taught, they’re lessons seen. Children are either beneficiaries or casualties of our example. When we say “we,” we’re not simply giving instructions; we’re holding up a mirror that says:
“Look at us. This is who we are. Do as we do.”
That’s where the real power lies.

The strength of “we” is not in the word itself, but in the example that follows. If our “we” is not backed by consistent behavior, it becomes empty, confusing rather than clarifying.

Discipline, therefore, is not about shouting, commands, or power struggles. It is about creating a culture of WE:

• We live this way.
• We speak this way.
• We treat others this way.
• We respond this way.

That’s how Tieri is learning, not from rules shouted across the room, but from values lived out loud.

This is not about perfection. Perfection is a mirage.
It’s about embracing the journey of becoming balanced human beings. We may never be fully free from human flaws, but we can live meaningful lives through conscious submission to principles that guide us.

It is a collective journey, where learning is mutual. Tieri learns from us, and we learn from him, and together, we’re all growing. Our edge is not in age or in being parents. He is the child of today, not us. Life today is vastly different from when we were children, so we must humbly learn from his experience too. And because he does not sit where we now sit, he learns from our example as well.

We are not superior. We are equal before God, though placed in positions of authority. And the purpose of that authority is to communicate eternal values, always remembering that authority is transient.

Purposeful parenting begins with purposeful living. We must live purposefully before we can parent consciously. In truth, living is parenting. Until we live by clearly identified and articulated values, every area of our lives, including parenting will struggle.

At the heart of this thinking is the belief that discipline is a way of life, not just a moment of correction. It is the lubricant of positive flow in any home. And it is inescapable: either we discipline ourselves, or life disciplines us.

In our home, the burden of discipline is shared, but we, the parents, carry the greater share, through the force of example. We know without a doubt that our son will be either a grateful beneficiary or a disgruntled casualty of our dominant examples.

We are not just raising an obedient child. We are raising a functional human, one who understands civility, kindness, responsibility, and gratitude, because he sees it modeled every single day.

This is the WE way. And it works.