Use these 7 Steps to Calm your Kid when they’re Throwing a Tantrum—Including one You ‘Can’t Skip,’ Psychologist Says
Source:https://www.msn.com/
Raising resilient children involves teaching them to manage their emotions during stressful situations. Instead of scolding a child having a meltdown, it’s important to validate their feelings and co-regulate with them. According to developmental psychologist Aliza Pressman, co-regulation involves a calm, connected caregiver helping a child regain balance when upset. This process starts with the caregiver managing their own emotions. By modeling calmness, parents can teach children how to regulate their emotions and handle stress effectively.
Here are 7 steps of co-regulation, according to Pressman.
1. Breathe: Inhale deeply through your nose, and exhale. “Yes, there’s rich neuroscience behind the power of the breath; and no, you can’t skip this step,” Pressman says. “Take the breath.”
2. Acknowledge: Ask yourself the question, “What is this moment bringing up for me?” Are you running late and scared you’ll look irresponsible in front of other parents? Or maybe your child is refusing to eat a vegetable and you are anxious they’ll be judged for being a picky eater.
3. Let it go: It’s easy to get caught up in how this meltdown will affect the future or how you’ve handled similar situations in the past. However, this isn’t necessarily helpful. Let it go and stay in the moment, Pressman says: “You can unpack any baggage later on your own timeline.”
4. Assess: Take stock of the present moment. “Gauge your own and your child’s state of mind,” Pressman says. Are they calm, curious, frantic, or distraught?
5. Notice: “Observe what’s going on in your own body and what’s going on in your child’s body,” Pressman says. Check in on your breath and heart rate. Also pay attention to your child’s body language. This can tell you how to move forward.
6. Connect: “Let your child know verbally or with your body that you see them and care about their feelings,” Pressman says. Validating their feelings can calm their nervous system.
7. Engage: Now that you’re in a calm, present state of mind, make a decision on how to respond. “If your child is yelling, you won’t yell at them to stop yelling — you’ll say it calmly, with authority,” Pressman says. “No matter what the parenting dilemma is, your self-regulation is going to help you identify and respond in the space between permissiveness and tyranny.”
.
Image Source:https://www.msn.com/
