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The perception of only children has shifted from being seen as lonely or spoiled to being recognized for their unique societal role. According to Pew Research Center, the percentage of children with no siblings increased from 11% in 1967 to about 22% by 2015, and this trend is likely continuing. Raising an only child presents different challenges and benefits compared to raising children in larger families. Key aspects to consider include focusing on teaching social skills to ensure they develop well-rounded interpersonal abilities.
Teaching Social Skills
Only children may need additional opportunities to develop social skills compared to those with siblings. To support this, it’s important to actively encourage and provide various opportunities for social interaction and skill-building.
1. Encourage interaction with others: To prevent loneliness, only children might create imaginary friends or form attachments to objects like dolls. Despite ample attention from parents, they need peer interactions for healthy social development. Dr. J. Lane Tanner recommends arranging social activities frequently from around 18 months of age, including playdates both at home and at friends’ homes, to help them learn sharing and peer interaction skills.
2. Lead by example:
Only children miss out on the dynamics of sibling relationships, which can teach important social skills like handling rivalry, sharing, and taking turns. To help an only child thrive socially, parents should:
- Model sharing, compromise, and consideration.
- Reward considerate behavior and address inconsiderate actions.
- Provide opportunities for the child to practice skills typically learned through sibling interactions.
3. Encourage laughter: Kevin Leman, Ph.D., notes that only children might become overly serious due to their logical and scholarly tendencies. To help develop a sense of humor, parents should model light-heartedness by avoiding strict discipline and instead openly smiling and laughing with their child. This approach encourages the child to adopt a similar attitude.
4. Share some responsibility:Raising an only child often leads to a very close parent-child relationship, but this can sometimes result in the child becoming overly reliant on their parents for support and entertainment. To promote independence, parents should assign responsibilities like chores and encourage the child to find ways to entertain themselves without constant parental involvement.
5. Resist the urge to interfere: Only children often exhibit perfectionist tendencies. If parents constantly correct or redo their child’s work, it can reinforce these perfectionist traits. Dr. Leman advises against over-correcting and suggests letting the child complete tasks without unnecessary interference.
6. Set clear boundaries: Only children who are frequently around adults may begin to expect equal say and power in family decisions, according to Wallace. While it’s beneficial to involve them in some decisions, parents should retain authority over significant matters. Additionally, experts stress the importance of parents having some child-free time to nurture their relationships and personal well-being.
7. Be realistic: Only children may exhibit advanced verbal skills and achievements early on, which can make it challenging to gauge age-appropriate behavior and determine the right level of encouragement. By ages 7 or 8, they might appear mature and view other children as immature. Parents should maintain realistic expectations and remind themselves that their child is still experiencing childhood.
8. Don’t ask for perfection: Only children may develop perfectionistic tendencies due to their desire to please their parents and their interactions with adults. This can lead them to set excessively high standards for themselves. Parents should encourage goal-setting but also emphasize that achieving personal happiness and balance is more important than meeting unrealistic expectations. Reassure them that you will be proud of their efforts regardless of their ultimate achievements.
9. Don’t make a “mini me”: Only children need time and space to pursue their own interests and should not be pressured to fulfill their parents’ unfulfilled dreams or aspirations. Parents should accept that their child will have their own unique path and encourage them to explore their own interests without imposing their own agendas.
10. Keep gifts in check: Excessive gift-giving to only children can lead them to believe they should always get what they want. It’s important to reduce this practice, despite potential emotional protests from the child, as focusing on quality time with the child is more beneficial than the gifts themselves.
11. Don’t overindulge your only child: Raising an only child can lead to habitually catering to their every need, unlike children with siblings who learn to wait their turn. To prevent an entitlement attitude, parents should set limits, delay gratification, enforce household rules, and establish clear guidelines and expectations for discipline.
12. Don’t strive for constant happiness in your child: Focusing on ensuring your only child is constantly happy can lead to negative outcomes, such as developing a demanding attitude of “my way or no way.” Instead of indulging every whim, providing unconditional love while avoiding common pitfalls can foster a positive, lifelong relationship. Many parents of only children describe their relationship as a rewarding, lasting friendship.
Read More:https://childreninfobank.com/safebank/12-tips-for-raising-an-only-child/
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