Tieri: “Daddy, I Want to Go with You”
Me: “Tieri, Daddy Will Soon Be Back Before You Know It”
My current official profile begins with these words: Taiwo Akinlami, a full-time father raising his first child, his 4-year-old son, TieriayoOluwa, born to him at almost 52 after 15 years of marriage to his darling and adorable wife, Oluwafunmiyo.
That is not branding language. It is not a cliché. It is not an emotional construct designed to impress people. It is simply a statement of fact.
I have come to believe that whatever I present to the world about myself, if it is disconnected from who I truly am and what I actually do, is empty. It may sound appealing, but it lacks the substance required for meaningful impact.
Our son was born when I was approaching 52, our first child after 15 years of marriage. The moment I held him in the hospital, a weight of responsibility came upon me. I became deeply aware that my wife and I are accountable to God first to live by the values we hope to communicate through our authority as parents.
We have always believed that what parents have over their children is authority, not dominion. Authority is temporary. Its purpose is not control for its own sake, but the communication of values.
Those values, however, must first be evident in the lives of the parents who seek to pass them on. Authority is transient; the values it is meant to impart are enduring.
One of the clearest expressions of this conviction is presence.
Presence is not incidental to parenting. It is central to it. It is an essential part of standing in our God-ordained authority and using that authority to communicate values. That conviction led me to reduce my travels, especially international travel. Even within the country, my trips must be brief, except where it is possible for me to travel with my family.
My presence with our son became a priority and, in many ways, a determinant of my movement, both within and outside the country. I regard being the head of my family as my primary assignment in life. I cannot count myself successful in every other sphere while failing in what is, for me, the main duty of man.
That decision has been rewarding.
It has been a deeply enriching experience bonding with our boy, learning about him, learning from him, and learning with him. At one point, I even pulled him out of daycare for a whole month simply to spend more time with him. Our relationship grew richer because of it.
Recently, however, I had to prepare for a long trip. Before leaving, I sat him down and explained the situation to him as best as I could. I told him I needed to travel to attend to matters relating to our work outside the country. I also told him that I would miss him and his mummy very much, and I promised that we would stay in touch every day through video calls.
Then we went to the airport.
Just as I was about to leave, he held on to me and said, “Daddy, I want to go with you.”
I was close to tears.
He has travelled with me and his mother before. He knows what it means to journey together as a family. But this time, he would not be coming with me.
So I held him in my arms, close to my heart, and said, “Tieri, Daddy will soon be back before you know it.”
That was our farewell.
I have been away for less than a week. We have spoken every day except one, and I miss my family dearly.
Yet my consolation is this: my absence is only for a while. It is a sacrifice we are all making in pursuit of a value we hold in common as a family.
Fatherhood, for me, is not merely about provision, position, or pronouncement. It is about presence. And presence is not just physical availability; it is a deliberate commitment to be there, to model values, to build trust, and to shape a life by example.
That, to me, is the first responsibility of fatherhood.
Do have an INSPIRED week.
