FAMILY FINANCE: What Happens When Money Decisions Go Wrong
Episode 6: The Lesson Nobody Wants to Learn
Your child has now learned five powerful truths about money. They understand what it is, how to earn it, how to prioritise it, how to wait for it, and how to give it away wisely. They are, by most measures, more financially literate than the average adult.
Now comes the lesson nobody wants to teach, but every child desperately needs.
What happens when the plan falls apart?
We spend so much energy teaching children the right moves that we forget to teach them the most valuable move of all: how to recover from the wrong one. A child who never makes a financial mistake has never truly been tested. But a child who makes a mistake, feels the consequences, and then rebuilds? That child has something no savings jar can buy: resilience.
The instinct when your child spends their entire savings on something they regret two days later is to comfort them, fix it, and make the pain disappear. Resist that instinct. That pain is information. It is their brain learning the difference between impulse and wisdom. Remove the pain, and you remove the education.
Instead, hold what I call a “post-mortem meeting.” Sit with them calmly, without judgement and ask three questions: “What did you think would happen?” “What actually happened?” “What will you do differently next time?” That conversation transforms regret into a lesson. And lessons are worth far more than the money lost.
Here is the perspective that changes everything: mistakes at eight years old cost a few pounds and some heartache. Mistakes at twenty-eight cost thousands and sometimes years. The only way to reduce the cost of future mistakes is to make smaller ones now in a safe environment, with a parent who guides instead of rescues.
This week’s challenge: The Mistake Journal
Have your child log one financial decision they regret: the item, the price, how they felt buying it, and how they feel now. Not as punishment. As a mirror. Pattern recognition is the beginning of wisdom.
Dinner table question this week:
“Tell me about a money mistake you made as a child, and what you learned from it.”
Show your child that adults make financial mistakes, too. The difference is that we keep going.
See you next week
Dr. Mayowa Olusoji
The Money Smart Coach
