The writer wants to stay home with their 1-year-old son, but their husband prefers the stability of having two incomes. Previously, the husband desired a career-focused partner, and the writer never mentioned wanting to be a stay-at-home mom before. The writer wonders if it’s unfair to bring this up now. Carolyn Hax advises that it’s natural for perspectives to shift over time, and it’s fair to discuss changes in your plans. However, it’s important to approach the conversation with an open mind and recognize the impact on all aspects of family life, including finances, happiness, and marriage. Both partners should explore whether their current arrangement is optimal and consider all elements before making significant changes.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/advice/2024/08/05/carolyn-hax-stay-at-home-mom
