On paper, it looked like a dream: beaches, new cities, new experiences. But in reality, it included long stretches of loneliness and the ache of watching my peers reach traditional milestones I hadn’t. Along the way, I chased meaning. I questioned my choices during a cold December in London, where the sun set daily at 3 p.m., and when I faced a national blackout alone in Spain, locked out of my apartment in April.
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